So what can you do if you’re troubled by a Minister who talks too much? Here are five simple suggestions that
might help.
1. First, listen. But don’t listen for too long.
2. After listening for a little while and formulating what they are trying to communicate, ask her if she would mind terribly if you interrupt her. It would be rare for her to say something like “No, no, I’m talking too much, go ahead.” If she say, “Let me just finish this thought,” respond gently with something like, “Oh, I thought you had finished it. Can I tell you what I heard you say?” (Of course, some people still have to say it their own way. Let them finish, since you won’t have a choice; but then interrupt them as soon as they start to move to something else.)
3. When you interrupt, be ready to say something about what you hear them saying. Don’t go for a deep psychological explanation. Something simple and to the point, but if possible, something that reflects something positive about them. Many people talk over everyone because they are afraid of criticism, so don’t be surprised if they start to talk over you. Again, say, “Wait, I’d like to finish my thought now,” and then say what you were going to say about them.
4. Don’t stop with a comment about her. Add some experience of your own that will confirm that you understand what they’re experiencing. A memory of a similar event, a similar feeling, a funny story – anything that gives you a chance to share your own experience but that you can tie to theirs.
5. Stop the conversation when it goes on too long. It’s really not damaging to tell her who you’ve been listening to for more time than you have to spare. And if they are the kind of person who comes back later to continue the conversation, you can say, “No, sorry, I’m busy right now.” Because finally, you have the right to protect your own boundaries.
So be very careful if you need to attend a dialogue with her as it may turn out to be a boring monologue. Have a great week ahead.
1. First, listen. But don’t listen for too long.
2. After listening for a little while and formulating what they are trying to communicate, ask her if she would mind terribly if you interrupt her. It would be rare for her to say something like “No, no, I’m talking too much, go ahead.” If she say, “Let me just finish this thought,” respond gently with something like, “Oh, I thought you had finished it. Can I tell you what I heard you say?” (Of course, some people still have to say it their own way. Let them finish, since you won’t have a choice; but then interrupt them as soon as they start to move to something else.)
3. When you interrupt, be ready to say something about what you hear them saying. Don’t go for a deep psychological explanation. Something simple and to the point, but if possible, something that reflects something positive about them. Many people talk over everyone because they are afraid of criticism, so don’t be surprised if they start to talk over you. Again, say, “Wait, I’d like to finish my thought now,” and then say what you were going to say about them.
4. Don’t stop with a comment about her. Add some experience of your own that will confirm that you understand what they’re experiencing. A memory of a similar event, a similar feeling, a funny story – anything that gives you a chance to share your own experience but that you can tie to theirs.
5. Stop the conversation when it goes on too long. It’s really not damaging to tell her who you’ve been listening to for more time than you have to spare. And if they are the kind of person who comes back later to continue the conversation, you can say, “No, sorry, I’m busy right now.” Because finally, you have the right to protect your own boundaries.
So be very careful if you need to attend a dialogue with her as it may turn out to be a boring monologue. Have a great week ahead.
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